I was
reading someone’s blog and they wrote about being humbled by someone’s
kindness. I realized that this person may have a different view about me. I can
be direct, and in some ways unkind, especially when I believe that I’ve been
treated unfairly. I own that. I’m accountable for that. It is who I am. I over
analyze the situation. I expect the worst and my anxiety goes through the roof.
Then I say the wrong things. I push the wrong buttons. I fail.
I
believe that we are all the “Bad Guy” in someone’s story. I just happen to be
the star in a few.
How do you deal with being a villain? You try your best to forgive yourself, learn from your mistake, and move on.
Nothing
can change the past… yet… lol. You can’t force someone to forgive you. This I
know for sure. I’ve been hurt by people that I trusted and it changes you. It makes
you view situations through different eyes. It changes your ability to trust. I
know.
I don’t
blame anyone for my mistakes and failures. I made them. They are part of my
story. They are part of who I am along with my successes. They are mine.
The fact that I admit that I have made these mistakes does not absolve others
of theirs. I understand that I deserve apologies that I will never receive. I
need to make peace with that. I strive daily to forgive others who have hurt
me, but it’s difficult. By God’s grace I will one day.
We are
all the bad guy in someone’s story, and we all have bad guys in ours. We'll just have to be okay with that.
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