The Necessity of Support

I was talking to a friend a few days ago about my addicted daughter who was recently arrested for possession with intent to sell. I knew that she had an advisement three days ago and wondered about the outcome (when the trial date was set, etc.) so I went online to look.

Usually, when you view the online application, you have to search by each court separately; however, on the mobile application it will show all courts at once. So I was surprised to find several other charges that I didn’t know existed. Not only was she charged with possession in one county, she is charged with unlawful sale of wildlife (seriously?) in another county, and petit larceny (probably shoplifting) in another. She also has charges in Lynchburg of cruelty to animals, and failure to provide adequate care to an animal. She was originally found guilty and appealed the case to Circuit Court. So she has four (4) court dates pending between now and the end of October.

How does this make me feel? I feel unprotected and afraid, and I question myself. What do people think of me as a parent? What could I have done differently when she was growing up? 

When I first found out about the things that my daughter was involved in I only told a very few people… people that I trusted not to judge me, but who would support me. Then I joined a few online support groups and realized that I was not the only person in this situation. 

Unfortunately, there are a lot of us out here… all over the world. Many are raising our grandkids, and some of those in my groups have lost their children to addiction.

Through these support groups I came to realize that children from all types of backgrounds can become addicted. Many of the parents in my groups who have an addicted child also have adult children who lead normal, productive lives. My daughter becoming an addict is not something that I did. It’s something that happened… probably due to one or several bad choices that she made. I’m not responsible for it, nor am I able to fix it. Talking to people helps.

If you are a parent of an addicted child you need to find someone that you can talk to about it. If you keep it inside yourself or your family it will consume you, and you may even find that your non-addicted children resent it. Find a support group or a counselor. 

There will be people who will judge you, say hurtful things to you, and treat you differently. Try to forgive them. They don’t understand. Just give it to God.