Trust is Overrated

As I look back on my life I realize that most of the really bad things that have happened to me are the result of trusting someone. I’m not saying that I was a victim. It was ultimately my decision to trust those people, but I learned a few things:

• If a man hits you, he will always promise to never do it again, but he will.
• If you feel like a relationship is too good to be true, then it is.
• Never put your name on a loan that you can’t afford to pay on your own.
• Never lend something to someone and expect to get it back. This includes money.
• If someone promises not to do something, expect that they will change their mind one day. Promises aren’t contracts.
• If a person is an addict they will lie to you, talk bad about you, and steal your things… no matter how much they love you.
• Never trust someone around your children unless you know all there is to know about them, and even then take baby steps. Trust your gut feelings. Damage to innocence is forever.
• If you feel like something isn’t right about someone… it probably isn’t.
• If someone is trying to talk you into doing something and you get a bad feeling about it, don’t do it. Seriously, don’t!

People will promise you the moon to get what they want, but once they get it, you are no longer a priority. You were just a means to an end. You were used.

Broken trust is especially hard when you cared for the person you trusted. They are gone, you are left with a mess or heartache and you feel betrayed. You wonder how people can care for you one minute and then just walk away knowing that they are leaving you broken.

I don’t know. I only know that trust is overrated.

I'm the Bad Guy in Someone’s Story

I was reading someone’s blog and they wrote about being humbled by someone’s kindness. I realized that this person may have a different view about me. I can be direct, and in some ways unkind, especially when I believe that I’ve been treated unfairly. I own that. I’m accountable for that. It is who I am. I over analyze the situation. I expect the worst and my anxiety goes through the roof. Then I say the wrong things. I push the wrong buttons. I fail.

I believe that we are all the “Bad Guy” in someone’s story. I just happen to be the star in a few.

How do you deal with being a villain? You try your best to forgive yourself, learn from your mistake, and move on.

Nothing can change the past… yet… lol. You can’t force someone to forgive you. This I know for sure. I’ve been hurt by people that I trusted and it changes you. It makes you view situations through different eyes. It changes your ability to trust. I know.

I don’t blame anyone for my mistakes and failures. I made them. They are part of my story. They are part of who I am along with my successes. They are mine.

The fact that I admit that I have made these mistakes does not absolve others of theirs. I understand that I deserve apologies that I will never receive. I need to make peace with that. I strive daily to forgive others who have hurt me, but it’s difficult. By God’s grace I will one day.

We are all the bad guy in someone’s story, and we all have bad guys in ours. We'll just have to be okay with that.