When it’s Your Child

Graphic by sandyswenson.com

“I stand in honour of his life and the lives of the over 11, 577 who have died because of a poisoned drug supply.” – Kim Porter (9-9-19)

My daughter is an addict. How hard of that to say… very hard. There are people who will judge me for my daughter’s addiction. There are those will talk about me and tell others that I’m not a good mother. There are those who will recite the phrase “raise your children, spoil your grandchildren – spoil your children, raise your grandchildren” which, by the way, is a slap in the face to not only me, but to parents who have lost their children to disease, and accidental death. 

My daughter’s addiction has cost her everything… her children, her home, and lately all of her dogs and probably her possessions. 

As the mother of an addict I’ve researched things I never thought I would need to understand. I’ve researched the effects of methamphetamine, and heroine. I’ve looked up “speed balling” and how it affects the user’s brain. I’ve looked up how children are traumatized by their parent’s actions while under the influence. I’ve asked police officers how they contact next of kin when an adult dies. I’ve joined support groups on social media comprised of grandparents who are raising their grandchildren, and mothers of addicts. I’ve read stories that would absolutely break your heart. Someone posts almost daily that their child lost his or her battle with addiction which can mean that they overdosed or they committed suicide to end the pain. This is not a life that I would wish on my worst enemy, and yet I live it.

A few days ago my daughter was arrested. She wasn’t arrested for drugs, but she had been using just the same. Her mug shot is something I can’t get out of my mind… my beautiful daughter is now haggard and unrecognizable. She has been arrested many times, but this time she will detox in a jail cell because she is being held without bond.

I am raising two of her children and I don’t know what if anything I should tell them. I am broken. Something just has to be done to help our children as every addict is someone’s someone.

“We are all in this world together, and the only test of our character that matters is how we look after the least fortunate among us. How we look after each other, not how we look after ourselves. That’s all that really matters.” - Tommy Douglas, a pioneer and founder of Medicare